If u watched sunday night the mother said that her daughter was living her (the mothers) dream.. Pfft.. what a load of bullshit and also i think Jack Vidgen is not rly that gd but eh

Interesting subject Andy and certainly one that needs to be examined. In the past few weeks I have read of the furore surrounding the Kids in Tiara's show where a child model could not appear due to the adverse publicity and some very opinionated comments from both the media and the general public. I also was sickened to hear about the snake handler who allowed his child to be bitten by deadly snakes in order to prove a point and I wonder whether children have a say in all this or whether, as stated above, some parents live vicariously through their children to get the fame and publicity that they never had.

I continue to be bemused by the constant reporting in the media of Suri Cruise where there are pictures of her with high heels, lipstick and a fashion wardrobe that would pay for many underpriveleged children to go to school.

I remember the controversy surrounding Steve Irwins daughter where after her fathers death she launched into a full career of documentaries, shows and even a fashion label and even though there were assurances that this was something that Bindi wanted to do, I question the wisdom of allowing a young girl who had just lost her father not having the time to grieve privately and lead a normal childhood.

It is unfortunate that we live in a society where children are frequently being encouraged to strive and aim for the pinnacle of success and recognition rather than being allowed to be young and carefree and enjoy the precious years of childhood without pressure and expectations.

I am not against children being models and entering pageants. What disturbs me is that what can be an innocent situation often invokes unfair criticisms from adults who honestly sometimes need to get a life.

Reading back through my reply I hope I do not present as one of those. I have a strong sense of social justice and hate people being exploited, whether that be an adult or a child. I think that as long as everyone is happy and consenting then so be it and others should butt out and shut up. However I question myself whether children really have the capacity to understand the consequences of their "well-meaning" parents and believe that boundaries should always exist to avoid the temper tantrums and demands that can eventuate on both sides.

Good on you Andy for bringing up such an interesting debate....

This came to mind as I read your journal Andy:

On Children
Kahlil Gibran

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.

It's the heavily glamorized children's pageants that I don't like. Where the children walk all over their parents and all they have to do is poke their bottom lip out and threaten to throw a hissy fit in order to get what they want. The ridiculous dresses and false teeth and heavy spray-tans and heavy makeup and hair pieces that make their little heads look enormous... And then there are the parents who force their children into the pageants to live vicariously through them, forcing a childhood of stardom and pageantry on their son or daughter that they never had, and dealing harsh punishments when their child doesn't perform to standard.

These parents who let their children walk all over them, it seems, never stop to think about meting out proper discipline for their appalling behavior. Those children will grow up thinking that if they scream and cry and throw a fit, they'll get everything they want in life and people will wait on them hand and foot.

These parents who force their children into pageants to live vicariously through them never stop and ask their child if they want to perform in pageants.

There was a news story here in the States not too long ago about a Toddlers & Tiaras mother who had paid a doctor to give her 8-year-old daughter Botox injections to keep a doll-like face. Later, that same mother said she had lied about the Botox for publicity.

Many of these children do enjoy being in the pageants, but many more seem to be exploited by their own parents for the prize money. Has anyone ever stopped to ask the children if they want all this?

I know it's (probably) not the intention of the parents to exploit their own children, but their behavior and choice of words cast doubt on that idea...for me, at least. But far be it from me to judge these people. It's not my place. I just wonder (and worry) about their children. Many of them will grow up without proper social behavior skills; especially the children who walk all over their parents and scream until they get their way.

The children whose parents force them into the pageants might develop low self-esteem and be too afraid to jump on an opportunity later in life because their parents kept them on such tight leashes and punished them if they didn't do or say something "correctly."

Now, I'm all for pageants, but I have to say I'm against the glitz and glam of the "fake beauty" pageants. The girls who compete in these, and even the boys, might develop a low self-image and think that they can never be beautiful unless they are thin, wear expensive clothes and shoes and have stylish hair and wear makeup at all time. The glitz-and-glam pageants push that image on everyone very hard. I would never subject my own son or daughter to one of those pageants.

There are pageants that judge contestants on their natural beauty and genuine personality, with none of that heavy glitz and glam or fake smiles and fake personalities. A natural beauty pageant like that, I would let my children compete in if they wanted to.